Welcome to 15 Minutes of Needless Suffering

Welcome to my 15 minutes of needless suffering! This blog is not for you.

My wife asked to open our marriage. No, she stated she was going to open our marriage. She'd hinted around the possibility since we were just a few year past our vows, and I'd failed to see it was something she wanted, not a threat against my failures as a partner, not an outlet for her loneliness, but an access to the excitement of real life human connection that evaporates in the course of a marriage. So, I'm with her now. I have a dating app profile and have been out with several women, some of whom I even liked, and a few of whom even liked me back. The world didn't end. My wife and I might be closer now, not further apart, but I'm finding that I can deal with the uncertainty. It's a big step, seeing as how I overanalyze, nitpick at the objects of my anxiety, and sweat over human interaction.

One of the world-opening aspects of dating again is being inspired by others. I've met women who make a practice of writing every day, who sew their own clothes, who've partnered with others to design intentional communities, and who adopt a daily practice of something that would blow my mind and scare the shit out of me. And that's what brings me here.

I used to write! I wrote stories, poems, memoirs, hate mail, and sincere letters to dear friends. Now I don't. I have complex ideas on bike rides and shopping trips about the things I should be writing, but I don't write. And now I'm going to write.

I'll be checking back into this site for 15 minutes every day, to drain the much and noise from my skull, turn it into self-absorbed memoir, disorganized fiction, and ranting. I'm not asking for anyone's feedback, but through practice I really do expect to improve at this craft.